(This is published in National Journal of Homoeopathy December 2010 issue)
Recently I attended two lectures by Brahma kumari Sr Shivaniben, one at annual scientific conference of Malad Medical Association and other at BK Centre, Borivali. I frequently watch many of her shows on Astha and Sanskar TV channels. She has inspired me a lot and has helped me come out of my emotional difficulties. Here, I would like to share one of my understandings and experiences with our NJH readers.
What is spirituality? Spirituality means “To know thyself”, “Taking care of one’s own self”, “Achieving stability”. And stability can be achieved by taking care of our thoughts. The day one learns to observe his own thought processes and controls his thoughts, he will have better control over his emotions, which automatically gives him stability.
A quote of Sr Shivani which touched many doctors’ hearts and made them think : Doctors usually say: “I heal the patients and I feel very happy. What if the doctor is happy and then he heals? That is spirituality.” In first situation, in the process of healing patients and achieving happiness, we may pass through lot many stresses. But if our heart is filled with happiness and we are doing our job, not only the process will be stress free but also the quality of work will be much better.
When we interact with people, there is an exchange of energy. We usually give whatever we have. If we are happy, we spread happiness. If I am under tension what I spread to the opposite person is tension. Thus, we in the role of physicians if spread positive energy to patients, we will be able to give them better healing, because we know patient needs both physical and emotional healing. If we receive our patients with a smiling face, they tell us, half of our pain is better just by seeing you. This is just because energy travels even without words.
We need to receive number of patients’ emotional pains, many a times we experience heaviness at the end of the day. So, we need to make our emotional immunity system very strong, which in turn we can transfer back to patients while healing them. How do we make our emotional immunity system strong? Man is continuously interacting with the environment. We do not have control over external environment. But we can have control over our own self, our own thought processes.
Yes, everyone of us has right to choose our thoughts, right to choose the option of being happy or unhappy. We consciously or unconsciously choose this option. We repeatedly respond/react to situations in some way and when this reaction gives us pain and stress we start blaming situations and people associated with it. Here, if we choose not to get unhappy, not to come under stress, is it possible? How? In every situation, there are two ways to react either positively or negatively, either with stress or with stability, either with happiness or with sorrow.
Yes, it is I, one’s self who has to decide what I want. I can get whatever I choose to. I can get whatever I desire. I have to first decide what I want. If I want happiness, I can’t allow those thoughts which will bring me sorrow to enter my mind. I need to block them. Is it possible? Is it so simple to practice? No, it is not so simple but it is not difficult also and yes it is definitely possible. I have to make efforts in that direction. I have to take charge of my own self. I have to have mercy on my own self. I have to love myself. I have to decide I am not a garbage bin that I allow anybody to put any garbage(of bad words/sorrow/pain) in me. I need to protect myself through my thoughts. How? Whenever I get disturbing reaction from circumstance, I need to stop for a while, hold on my thoughts and give positive command to myself, give positive thoughts to myself. This will come through practice. Practicing it over and over by getting conscious over our thoughts will make happiness occur to us.
Let us see this through few examples :
Eg 1) When we know we have a busy hectic day ahead and somebody from our support system say our compounder or maid or driver or office boy declares he/she cannot come or will be late, our stress level goes up. If we react to our stress, we might get angry on some other people like our family members, other people who work for us etc. and many a times we experience that lot of things get into difficulty and many other people will become victim of our anger. Thus, lot of things we had thought of going smooth, goes into avoidable mess.
How can we protect ourselves from this stress and disturbance? Is it possible? Yes, if we stop for a while and think in our mind, whatever situation has come, was not our desire but it was not even in our control. So, just accept it and now what can be done? Try to do best possible by taking someone else’s help or any other alternative or by your own self but with a relaxed mind, then we will save mess. If I am relaxed, naturally my anger/ reaction on others will be prevented and my mess at that end is also prevented.
Eg. 2) Someone gets angry at me due to some misunderstanding or because he is under some stress, I feel hurt. I either react in anger to that person or suppress that anger and brood over it again and again. Why did he do that? What was my fault? Why only to me? What had I done? etc. What happens? The person who got angry gave me pain once. But when I react in anger, I send negative energy to him again. This energy will get double and it will come back to me. What happens when I brood over it with negative sad feelings? The number of times I ask that question or remember that event, I pass through pain. The person who hurt me once but I hurt myself again and again, multiple times with those questions and feelings. Who gives more pain to me? The person who hurt me or I myself?
Do I have control over the person who hurt me? No. But don’t I have control over myself? Yes, I do have. It’s time to exercise that control with awareness and control over our thoughts.
Eg.3) A lady aged 60yrs came with the difficulty of insomnia with lot of anxious thoughts. When asked in detail, information is – she has two sons both married but not getting along well with each other, both sons’ wives are also not getting along well with each other. Thus, elder son had separated in a house on rental basis for few years. Now family has decided to go for complete separation of property for both the sons. Parents owned a four-room block, which they decided to divide into two separate units. Both sons are ok with it, but the patient feels hurt seeing this divided home. Thoughts which take away her sleep are earlier we were staying in a big house, now my sons have to stay in small houses. She says she tries to remove these thoughts from her mind and starts chanting God’s name etc. but again and again same thoughts come in mind and it can’t be prevented.
Now till she changes the thoughts, feelings associated with thoughts won’t change. She was shown to view same situation from a different angle. What was there with her and her husband when her kids were small? She said their condition was worse than what is their sons’. Husband also earned good over a period of time. She has to change her thoughts in a positive manner that they as a parent have done and given their best possible. She should keep faith and trust on sons’ abilities. They will also prosper in the years to come and will buy bigger houses for themselves. Patient found sense in this. She was convinced and changing direction of thoughts relieved her anxiety and gave her peaceful sleep.
So, let’s decide today to take charge of our own self. Take charge of our thoughts. Let us decide what we want to feel and let us direct our thoughts in the direction of what is our goal. Not to pain our own self. Not to pain others. Spread positive energy to others and heal others with love.
